I’m finally heading back to Darwin, after nigh on ten years away – returning home.
When I left, I told everybody I’d likely be back in about six months.
I meant it too. But maybe it was just my subconscious way of avoiding the pain of saying goodbye – I had a seed of suspicion about that at the time.
‘Yeah mate – now worries, I’ll probably be back in a couple of months anyway’, a quick handshake and brush it off as a matter of course.
I was always gonna return – I love the place, and I have some great mates there.
But over time it mysteriously transformed into a sacred place in heart and mind – I have no bad memories of Darwin.
I left a good job in that city – woikin’ for the man every night and day….Oh no, sorry – that was John Fogerty.
The reason I left was complex yet basic.
When I first headed up North, I did so with the intent of one-day returning.
Returning to my family, who I knew I’d miss and couldn’t live without.
After ten years, and writing this down right now – it just dawned on me that I did the same thing back then. ‘See ya later – I’m moving to Darwin! But I’ll be back’.
I never once considered living there forever – perhaps this too was simply my subconscious mind protecting me from painful emotions? Hmmm.
Anyway, when I finally decided to move to the Gold Coast, my NT mortgage was costing me about 70% of my weekly wage, and I couldn’t see things improving.
Funnily enough, once I resigned from work – interest rates began their all-time record plummet!
So when I left, I loved Darwin town, it’s people, my house, the weather, my friends, the NT vibe and I even liked my job!
I wasn’t running away from anything or escaping from somewhere I hated – I just had the need, a yearning if you will, to ride off into the sunset and see what fate awaited me.
I was looking forward to living much closer to my family and getting to know my nieces and nephew much better. And I’d always liked the Queensland weather – not as rugged and impressive as the Top End’s extremes, but a lot more comfortable to live in.
Somewhere along the line, returning to Darwin became more than just going back to a place I’d been before. It’s hard to put my finger on it – kind of like traveling back in time.
Maybe best explained by Doc Emmet Brown and his warning to not interrupt the space-time continuum, for fear the repercussions will affect all aspects of later life.
I’ve often daydreamed of returning – surprising the boys by popping up Karaoke night and singing ‘The Gambler’, or some such thing, then getting on the grog.
I’ve countless realistic dreams of being back there – only to wake up all deflated.
Yet in my head there was a persistent reluctance to go back.
Down here I’ve got a great house (I’ve finally paid off), a better car, a rip-snorting boat, live in a happy little village and have excellent relationships with all my family, which I truly treasure. I’ve certainly grown up some as well.
So I decided one night at the pub, that I’d return for my mate James’ fortieth birthday, in June 2018.
I had attended his thirtieth not long before I left the NT, and thought this worthy justification to finally fulfil my promise.
My plan was to organise a surprise visit with his sister Rachael.
But James and I got drunken-chatting one night on the dog’n’bone and I told him I was coming to Darwin in June!
So that was it.
I’m booked in to fly up there with Tiger airlines on Friday night.
I’m edgy. Not just because it’s Tiger Airlines – but because it’s been ten years. What if the magic has gone? What if everything has changed so much that I no longer feel at home?
I sometimes take a mental tour – recalling the normal things: footpaths, fences, favourite pub tables, various signs on the wall, steps, puddles, cabs, a letterbox, certain trees and cracks in the concrete, an overgrown frangipani tree here and an Oldman Mango over there…
They say time and tide wait for no man, and I expect no such favours – but I sure hope the old town returns my love when I step out into the balmy, tropical night in three days’ time and once again inhale the heady, floral aroma of the Great Top End!
This time tomorrow night I’ll be commencing my decent into Darwin airport – and I’m pretty damned excited about the prospect!