{"id":60,"date":"2015-01-28T13:39:28","date_gmt":"2015-01-28T13:39:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/?p=60"},"modified":"2015-02-16T05:04:45","modified_gmt":"2015-02-15T19:04:45","slug":"big-w-for-worthless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/?p=60","title":{"rendered":"Big W – for Worthless"},"content":{"rendered":"

Big W \u2013 For Worthless! (17.8.2007)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hate shopping!<\/p>\n

I left work early yesterday \u2013 had to get my car registered. So I took off, paid my 600 bucks and stuck my sticker on the window, in the car park. I thought, since I was still early, I might as well go to Casuarina to pick up a few things. I\u2019ve been looking for a DVD version of The Man From Snowy River for years, that being my favourite movie and all. I noticed in a Big W catalogue, which they insist on stuffing into my letterbox every second day, that they had a double DVD set \u2013 Snowy River I and II for under 20 bucks! I thought \u2013 I\u2019ll grab me one of them.<\/p>\n

Last time I\u2019d planned to buy a few DVD\u2019s was when Target had a big sale on \u2013 I lobbed down there and all they had left, was the cheap, crap, seventy year old movies! They told me all the others were sold out \u2013 I said \u201cYes \u2013 No doubt! That\u2019d be because you only ever buy one friggin item each, of the good movies, which you advertise to suck in all the punters, then hope that they will buy the shit left over, so as not to waste their trip altogether!\u201d<\/p>\n

So, in my extra time, I decided I would also buy the new Harry Potter book and an expandable file for all my bills and important documents etc. So, needing 3 different items, pretty much justified the trip out there.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hurtling along Baggot road heading toward Casuarina, at around 80 clicks and I hear a beep-beep coming up next to me. I look around and see my friend Kirstin driving along with Chad in the passenger\u2019s seat \u2013 we flashed each other a smile and a wave. I moved to the left hand, gutter lane and Kirstin went to the middle lane, on my right. I had my left arm stretched across the back of the seat and was happily singing along with James Blundell. I had passed Kirstin and was about one third of the way past the silver car in front of her \u2013 when this tosser decides to change lanes. He just starts wizzing across into my lane, jamming me up against the gutter \u2013 I belt the brakes on and swing the wheel, as my stretching-arm quickly joins the fray. I locked up the brakes and skidded at an angle for about six feet before Tosser-Boy got past and in front of me. I let off the brake and kept driving. Unfortunately, my car horn is inoperable (which really teaches a man patience!), so I couldn\u2019t blast the still oblivious, Tosser-Boy, to hell!<\/p>\n

\"Kirstin\"<\/a>
Kirstin<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We stopped at a set of lights with Kirstin cruising up and stopping next to the Silver-car\u2019d Tosser \u2013 Chad winds his window down and gives the bloke a mouthful, on my behalf. It was pretty funny, as close calls go. I was thinking \u2013 Jesus, I\u2019m on my way from paying for another 12 months rego, and nearly wrecked the whole bloody thing within minutes!<\/p>\n

So I park the car and get out \u2013 a little bit shaky after the traffic incident. Walk my way to Big W \u2013 which, of course, is huddled at the furthest corner away from the car park, and head for the DVD section. Once again, I can\u2019t detect any sign of the package I want. I approach the counter and open up their new catalogue, a copy of which was sitting on the bench. I say to the young chippie \u201cHow ya goin\u2019? I want one of these\u201d, pointing at the advertised item.<\/p>\n

She flicks through a special \u2018under-the-counter\u2019 copy of the catalogue \u2013 which has big blue crosses through ninety percent of the items, including mine. She says \u201cYes. See, they\u2019re not available just yet. You\u2019ll have to come back in a few days or something\u201d<\/p>\n

I say \u201cBut it\u2019s advertised here that you have them \u2013 that\u2019s what I came for\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm \u2013 yes I know that, but the sale goes for two weeks\u201d<\/p>\n

I say \u201cWell, when does it start?\u201d<\/p>\n

She says \u201cToday\u201d.<\/p>\n

I spread my arms so as to say \u201cWell, I\u2019m here today, the sale is on today, you advertised you will have these things in today, now what\u2019s the freakin problem?!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh \u2013 we actually have them out the back \u2013 but there\u2019s half a dozen big pallet loads out there. We haven\u2019t unpacked them yet. You\u2019ll have to come back in a few days\u201d<\/p>\n

I said \u201cLast time I tried coming in a few days later, there was only shit left! All the good stuff had been sold out\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally? That\u2019s strange\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell can you put one aside for me, under the counter or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

So she took my details and recorded them, and the item and price, in a little book. It seems I\u2019ll have to go back at some later date.<\/p>\n

I was feeling pretty cranky by now, so I decided to head for the book section, pick up my copy and head for home. I did three laps of the book section, with the only Harry Potter story being one on special, from six years ago. I sought out the stringy haired young whippersnapper with a Big W badge, who was lurking around the general section. I said \u201cHow ya goin? Do you guys happen to have the latest Harry Potter book?\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked around, covered the same ground I\u2019d already been over, and said \u201cI know there was one copy floating around here somewhere. Nah \u2013 it looks like we\u2019re sold out.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said \u201cDid you guys not think this book might be popular?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh no \u2013 we bought thousands, it\u2019s just that there\u2019s none left\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you not think you should have got some more?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah \u2013 we bought all we could, there were three thousand or something\u201d<\/p>\n

I said \u201cYeah \u2013 and there\u2019s none left\u201d<\/p>\n

I walked away shaking my head and muttering obscenities.<\/p>\n

Then, out of the blue, far, far away from young Stringy-Hair and his book section, there was a big display full of the latest Harry Potter book! Just what the hell it was doing among the undergarments and stationery is beyond me! The book staff are completely unaware of this stash \u2013 I don\u2019t know how the hell they expect the shoppers to find it?<\/p>\n

Then I went looking for the expandable file \u2013 Nil Stock! They have boxes, and ring folders, and lever-arch folders, and manila folders, and coloured files, and hanging files, and filing cabinets, and plastic desk stackers and alphabetised drawers \u2013 but not one bloody expandable file!<\/p>\n

So I paid for my book and the checkout chick threw in a free copy of a Peter Fitzsimon book, about Les Darcy (The Aussie boxing champ who died of a tooth ache in America when he was only 19).<\/p>\n

I then headed for Kmart \u2013 looking for the allusive expandable file. Not one on the shelves. I asked an unlikely looking staff member if they had any \u2013 and to my great surprise and delight, she knew what I was talking about and even darted out the back and retrieved the very last item of this line that Kmart had in stock! So I grabbed it, paid my six bucks and headed for the car.<\/p>\n

\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026have I ever mentioned that I HATE SHOPPING!!!!????<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On Target To Be Ripped Off (4.6.2007)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every day I find my letterbox stuffed to the rafters with junk mail, which I usually remove and deposit straight into the garbo, where it belongs. The other day, though, I actually read through the piles of brochures from the usual suspects, including Kmart, Big W, WOW Sight & Sound, Prouds, Dominoes, and Target.<\/p>\n

Of interest to me was a special of \u201c25% off men\u2019s pants\u201d advertised in the Target catalogue. I needed a couple of pair of shorts and thought I may as well take advantage of this opportunity.<\/p>\n

So on Sunday, I decided to drive the 25k\u2019s down to Palmerston, which is home to my nearest Target store. I looked around a bit, then grabbed my gear and headed to the counter. This included 3 pairs of socks, two pairs of shorts and a pair of jocks. The jocks were a longer-legged variety I\u2019ve not tried before \u2013 there were a heap there, so I deduced that there must be quite some demand for the style. I usually just grab a six-pack of briefs and that\u2019ll do me for ages (except last time when some smart-arse swapped a rolled up pair of my size halfway down the pack, for a little kids \u2013 which I failed to recognise till I went to wear them!).<\/p>\n

I chatted to the checkout chick as she ran my gear through, then she surprised me with the sub-total of seventy four bucks! I took it away and examined the docket \u2013 no discount on the shorts and the bloody jocks cost me eighteen bucks! Feeling I\u2019d been ripped, I returned to the Men\u2019s Wear section to check things out \u2013 the jocks were indeed eighteen smackers a shot, which is just ridiculous in itself (and they better be bloody comfortable!). Also the ticket price on the shorts was 18 bucks straight up, so they definitely had not given me the discount!<\/p>\n

I approached the chippie at the lay-by counter and said \u2013 \u201cHey, I just bought these shorts and they should be 25% off. They charged me full price\u201d<\/p>\n

She says she\u2019ll get the bloke that works in the section. So the nineteen year old section-bloke comes over and tells me that the discount is only on long dacks! I say, \u201cNo \u2013 the add says \u201825% off Men\u2019s Pants\u2019. These are quite obviously pants\u201d.<\/p>\n

He says \u201cUm, okay \u2013 I\u2019ll get the manager\u201d.<\/p>\n

Little Miss Manager is 22years old and tries to tell me that \u201cNo \u2013 \u2018Pants\u2019 means long trousers, not shorts. They\u2019re called \u2018shorts\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

I say \u2013 \u201cOkay \u2013 look, I\u2019m sure if I wasn\u2019t wearing any pants, I wouldn\u2019t be allowed in your shop! I\u2019m wearing shorts and obviously, I am considered to be wearing pants!\u201d<\/p>\n

She argues that \u201cNo, you are wearing shorts \u2013 if you have a look on the little ticket, it will distinguish between Pants and shorts\u201d<\/p>\n

I reply \u201cWell If say to you \u2018look at that bloke over there, he\u2019s not wearing any pants!\u2019, you don\u2019t turn around and expect to see some rooster wearing shorts \u2013 you expect to see a bloke half dressed!\u201d<\/p>\n

She says \u201cWell that\u2019s how we distinguish them in our catalogues, we call them \u2018Pants\u2019, so people know it\u2019s long pants and \u2018Shorts\u2019 when we have shorts on special\u201d<\/p>\n

I said \u201cNo \u2013 that\u2019s bullshit! You call them \u2018Pants\u2019 in your catalogue, so you can rip people off and have them drive 25k\u2019s under false pretences \u2013 otherwise, you\u2019d call the trousers, like everyone else in the English speaking world! You know very well that this is misleading and confusing and that is clearly your aim \u2013 hoping that once people are here, they\u2019ll buy stuff anyway. We both know it\u2019s a friggin rort and a rip off, pants are pants, and you\u2019re a friggin disgrace!\u201d<\/p>\n

With that, I walked away, fuming \u2013 I needed the dacks and it cost me time and petrol to drive the 50k round trip, so there was no point in getting my money back and leaving the stuff there, the damage was already done. I\u2019ll be a lot more bloody careful next time though, and Target will remain the last choice for me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Big W \u2013 For Worthless! (17.8.2007) I hate shopping! I left work early yesterday \u2013 had to get my car registered. So I took off, paid my 600 bucks and stuck my sticker on the window, in the car park. I thought, since I was still early, I might as well go to Casuarina to … Continue reading Big W – for Worthless<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-60","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5K3B8-Y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=60"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":352,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60\/revisions\/352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=60"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=60"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=60"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}