{"id":276,"date":"2015-02-14T04:31:59","date_gmt":"2015-02-13T18:31:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/?p=276"},"modified":"2015-02-14T04:31:59","modified_gmt":"2015-02-13T18:31:59","slug":"upper-coomera-cabs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/?p=276","title":{"rendered":"Upper Coomera Cabs"},"content":{"rendered":"

Upper Coomera Cabs – (19.3.2009)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Friday night Johnny used the \u2018automated cab call system\u2019 to hasten the arrival of my lift home. This was midnight \u2013 I called them back on my mobile over an hour later and finally got a lift home (5 minutes away \u2013 2, as the crow flies) \u2013 arrived at 1:40am and stupidly watched the rest of \u2018The Last Action Hero\u2019, before going to bed.<\/p>\n

Saturday was another good barbie day around Kerrie and John\u2019s \u2013 however, by midnight I was once again set to go home. I called the cab (on my mobile \u2013 since I had lost confidence in the automated cab call system after the previous night\u2019s debacle).<\/p>\n

50 minutes later, after standing out the front for 20 minutes waiting, I called them again. \u201cOkay \u2013 a priority mark has now been attached to your call \u2013 they\u2019ll be there shortly!\u201d<\/p>\n

I rang them again in half an hour\u2019s time \u201cWhere is my cab?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c…..sorry \u2013 what\u2019s that address again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018MACDONALD AVENUE!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 M…..A…..C…..D…….\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Sorry \u2013 there\u2019s no call for that address…..\u2019<\/p>\n

So after a lengthy explanation of the recent events, I was kindly advised that there was now a priority put on my call \u2013 though she added \u2013 do not wait more than 15 minutes before you call me back, if nothing arrives!<\/p>\n

Beauty.<\/p>\n

A Taxi van rounds the bottom corner and I begin to head for it \u2013 though this turns out to be dropping off the neighbours across the road (at around 1:30) \u2013 I head to hijack the b@stard anyway, when another cab-van pulls into our driveway. The \u2018all or nothing\u2019 principle at work again.<\/p>\n

I leap in with great enthusiasm, for I am now beyond my best and am looking very much forward to collapsing into my king-size comfy bed which awaits only streets away.<\/p>\n

The bloke says \u201cWWWW \u2013 where are you going mate \u2013 cccc cause I don\u2019t know the area?\u201d<\/p>\n

I said \u2018Just turn left at the end here….\u2019<\/p>\n

(The end of MacDonald street is but 30 metres away and is bounded by a park and strategically placed water-overflow dam)<\/p>\n

Now, I can\u2019t swear that I heard the tyres squeal, though I do know that the accelerator was hard pressed to the floor, as I tried to clip in my seatbelt.<\/p>\n

We roared off and surprisingly made the turn.<\/p>\n

I said easy mate, it veers to the left just up here \u2013 though my advisement met apparently deaf ears \u2013 for he gunned it again, just as we approached the bend.<\/p>\n

I chatted to him regarding the poor cab service and he kept muttering something about Surfers Paradise and better fares.<\/p>\n

I quickly realised that the dude was taken to involuntary intermittent muscle spasms, such that he spoke staccato style and revved the engine likewise! The affliction seemed to possess him most of all as we approached corners, when the engine would roar and, being forced back in my seat by the sudden acceleration, I would reach for the panic strap. His disposition appeared unperturbed by my concern and he continued to rave about the bountiful streets of Surfers.<\/p>\n

For my own amusement, I continued to press my automatic garage opener at regular intervals throughout the trip \u2013 in hope that I might happen on a familiar frequency and open someone\u2019s treasure trove to the admiration of some local opportunistic young buck (hopefully without that stupid screwy haircut, which seem to be all the fashion with such whippersnappers these days).<\/p>\n

I finally made it home in one piece and my mate shot off like a rocket, headed for the very near corner \u2013 and possibly then onto the riches that are Surfers Paradise.<\/p>\n

Personally, given the symptoms presented, I would have speculated Creutzfelt-Jacob disease, however I now suspect the bloke most likely suffers from your garden variety Parkinson\u2019s, tourette\u2019s or cerebral palsy. Though as happy as I was to catch his cab, I never felt at ease \u2013 even in the back streets at some ungodly hour. Maybe the bloke was just having fun with another late-night drunk \u2013 but his driving style scared the bejesus outta me \u2013 I think I\u2019ll take to driving or sleeping over from now on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Upper Coomera Cabs – (19.3.2009) Friday night Johnny used the \u2018automated cab call system\u2019 to hasten the arrival of my lift home. This was midnight \u2013 I called them back on my mobile over an hour later and finally got a lift home (5 minutes away \u2013 2, as the crow flies) \u2013 arrived at … Continue reading Upper Coomera Cabs<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5K3B8-4s","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=276"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":277,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/276\/revisions\/277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onthewallaby.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}